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Friday, December 24th, 2004

Subject:hate to say i told you so
Time:2:52 am.
went shopping with my mummy.
she got me

x 3 tops
x 1 denimn mini
x 4 knickers
x 3 pairs LUSH shoes
x 1 bag
x 1 angel bed socks

pictures will be shown after i've unwrapped them and am wearing and am christmas merry.
Comments: 2 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004

Time:5:50 pm.
i watched confessions of a drama queen last night and it was absolutely shit. but today i watched Janghwa, Hongryeon and it was awesome. HOW COOL ARE JAPANESE HORROR MOVIES? & how clever am I for being able to watch a film, read subtitles, listen to foreign speaking and wrap presents at the same time?
Comments: 5 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004

Subject:all the things i deserve for being such a good girl
Time:5:08 pm.
i have a new ljournal, because i update differently now, with the whole not having the internet, and having this completely new and different life (ish). since people found out stuff i wrote here due to being told the address or being sent entries over msn (ahem) then i'm not going to post the name here just tell me if you still want to know me after these 3 months of north.
Comments: 9 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Friday, December 3rd, 2004

Time:1:52 pm.
fat chicks need love too they just gotta pay first.
Comments: 4 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Thursday, December 2nd, 2004

Time:6:54 pm.
there have also been nematodes.

if one animal randomly appeared in space, there is a 70% chance it would be a nemato.
this is because THERE ARE likr four x as many of them as the rest of us put together.
(and not a whale like in hitchhikers guide to the galaxy).
only 0.05% of nematos are male.
lucky bastards you might think, male to female nice ratio.

the rest are haemaphrodites!!!!
oh how i love thee nematodes.
if only thee were not small and wormy.
Comments: 4 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Subject: deny it’s history
Time:6:43 pm.
In the last 2 weeks there has been... highs, there have been lows, there has been drug taking, there have been stalkers, there has been blackmailing, there has been drinking, there has been sheesha, there has been stee, there has been essay righting, cartoon violence fighting, pranking and there has been stuff I cant be arsed to write about. like extreme poverty. and boys.

On Saturday I went to see the Grudge on Mushrooms. I can remember being really freaked out at the time Well anyway we went to this Sheesha café. Oh my Gosh. I was still freaking and their was this ancient African woman who looked like something off Rose Red (Stephen King film). Sheesha is quite nice, it’s a coal instead of tobacco so it’s not harsh.

It feels like nothings happened but I guess shitloads has, it’s just noone on here knows the people I’m talking about other than Stee. On Sunday me and Rich had pancakes for tea, on Monday Nikki brought some people back off our course and they saw our disgusting mess of a house. on Tuesday I went to see Machine Head with Owen, Carl and Ben and I almost walked right into Tom and I got the wrong end of the stick about something so got confused. I realised he is still my mr big and I’m still stuck there acting like a social leper whenever I see him. Not as much as a social leper as normal but I actually asked about us when we were on our own in my room but I obviously chose a stupid question considering I don’t know what the answer means.

Right now me and Richard are in the library, I have copious amounts of letters and emails to write and about a lifetime worth of livejournal, infact it does actually feel like my entire lifespan has been these last few weeks.

I’m writing this in Microsoft word in size 8 (like me!!!) so it’s making my words posh. I like it when I come come across pictures of people I didn’t used to like on and they are undeniably tubs in their more recent photos. Ha ha ha! I also know that it’s incredibly weird to get so much enjoyment out of fat pictures.

I haven’t been online in such a long time because last time I was at the library I had to hide from this guy I met the time before last, I was writing my essay and he came over and kept talking to me and then wrote me this stalker letter on the back of a receipt. If this puts you off Armley, please remember that yes, I am constantly hounded by crazy people whos parents have always been in the same immediate family and just loved each other too much, but come on baby, the flushing toilet was invented here.

Yesterday I shocked Owen with my feelings on cat and mouse cartoon violence. Thinking of Tom and Jerry, does anyone else see Jerry as the evil guy? Maybe it‘s just me, but I just always have. Tom is just this cat chasing a mouse but has all these evil plans and then runs away to his little hole that he has slyly built inside Tom’s house and gets away with it. He’s a dictator with the dog and headless woman under his thumb and complete mind control over Tom .
Hopefully Stee will be coming over after uni tomorrow. I accidentally left my phone at home so I DON’T KNOW. I was going to go to Keighley today. I’m in the library with Rich who made me jelly and I want to go home and eat it.


Oh yeah and of course my life is a billion times more interesting than this. I just don’t want to write most of it down. I just cant really be fucked. Plus it’s not on friends only. I'm really getting on with most of the people I live with so it's great.
BUT brian is threatening and trying to blackmail me! over someone drinking his tins of pop and then putting the can back in the bag. he is telling on the lack of tv licenses owned by people in the house, and the drug taking also done by about half the people in the house.
i gave my tv to hayley & i'm seventeen. but it's still pretty fucking harsh.

So where are we going we’re not ready for drowning
So where are we going we’re not ready for drowning
So where are we going we’re not ready for drowning
So where are we going we’re not waving we are drowning
Comments: 6 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Thursday, November 18th, 2004

Time:5:31 pm.
and i'm still waiting.
i'm just a fool to keep waiting.
diana ross - i'm still waiting.
Comments: captured here in my quotation marks.

Friday, November 12th, 2004

Subject:... does this sound way dirty for something written in 1888?
Time:11:26 am.
Annie Besant, The Link (23rd June, 1888)

Born in slums, driven to work while still children, undersized because under-fed, oppressed because helpless, flung aside as soon as worked out, who cares if they die or go on to the streets provided only that Bryant & May shareholders get their 23 per cent and Mr. Theodore Bryant can erect statutes and buy parks?

Girls are used to carry boxes on their heads until the hair is rubbed off and the young heads are bald at fifteen years of age? Country clergymen with shares in Bryant & May's draw down on your knee your fifteen year old daughter; pass your hand tenderly over the silky clustering curls, rejoice in the dainty beauty of the thick, shiny tresses.
Comments: 4 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Tuesday, November 9th, 2004

Time:5:54 pm.
post me pictures of your (whole, immediate) nuclear families please! if you want

1. to be famous
2. me to love you
3. to feel spiritual erm happinesss
4. to be part of degree work

or other families.
Comments: 10 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Subject:i have decided to leave you forever
Time:5:09 pm.
i'm in the library... doing my work. sort of, i really need to get this done hence the me filling in livejournal instead. everyone went home last weekend, stee and that didn't come to gay folkes night so me, ashley and ruth went at six. turns out it started at 10 and was at a nightclub, and we're dressed up to stand in a field freezing all night so we went back home and had a bonfire/ kitchen party with our eight remaining housemates.
we played drinking games,
we played king cups.
i drank vodka.
i spent six hours being sick on sunday morning.

I had a munch pub dinner afterwards though, not at the Malt Shovel, at the place everyone goes to for Sunday Roast. I hadV egetable lasagne and roast potatos, but my stomach had contracted to approximately the size of a pea so I couldn't enjoy it.

My Aunty Charmain died of Motor Neurone Disease aswell this week, so I might be home?

I heard that one of my best friends from back home is getting death threats and has had to move??? What the hell is going on?
Comments: 8 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Friday, November 5th, 2004

Subject:I dont care if it rains or freezes, aslong as I got my plastic Jesus
Time:4:10 pm.
1. Your favorite song with the name of a city in the title or text:
Dying in New Brunswick by Thursday.

2. A song you've listened to repeatedly when you were depressed at some point in your life:
once in A Lifetime by Better Than Ezra.

3. Ever bought an entire album just for one song and winded up disliking everything but that song?:

4. A song whose lyrics you thought you knew in the past, but about which you later learned you were incorrect:
Needle in the Hay by Elliott Smith.

5. Your least favorite song on one of your favorite albums of all time:
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band – Within you without you.

6. A song you like by someone you find physically unattractive or otherwise repellent:
leave get out by JoJo.

7. Your favorite song that has expletives in it that's not by Liz Phair:
Army by Ben Folds Five.

8. A song that sounds as if it's by someone British but isn't:
dont know.

9. A song you like (possibly from your past) that took you forever to finally locate a copy of:
I Survive by Terraplane or Suicide Samurai by Nirvana (which I hate).

10. A song that reminds you of spring but doesn't mention spring at all:

kiss me by six pence none the richer.

11. A song that sounds to you like being happy feels:
Penny Lane by The Beatles.

12. Your favorite song from a non-soundtrack compilation album:
kings of convenience – toxic girl.

13. A song from your past that would be considered politically incorrect now (and possibly was then):
smack my bitch up???

14. A song sung by an overweight person:
you were always on my mind, by elvis.

15. A song you actually like by an artist you otherwise hate:
i like songs by bands i hate.

16. A song by a band (whose members actually play instruments) that features three or more female members:
jack off jill: when I am queen.

17. One of the earliest songs that you can remember listening to:
‘I started a joke’… who sung that, the beegees? And ‘day in the life’ & ‘all my loving’ by the beatles.

18. A song you've been mocked by friends for liking:

19. A really good cover version you think no one else has heard:
beck, crazy in love.

20. A song that makes you think of making out/hitting it.
lover i dont have to love by bright eyes

21. A song that has helped cheer you up (or empowered you somehow) after a breakup or otherwise difficult situation:
do you realise? By the flaming lips. after relationships you gotta sit aronud moping and feeling empowered by music though... one it's every song and two it's the law.
Comments: 1 paragraph captured here in my quotation marks.

Subject:a dreamer dreams she never dies... where were you when we were getting high?
Time:3:29 pm.
I went to Halloween house party on Friday, made a mockery of everyone by getting ready in 5 minutes and going as Thumbelina. and being given a song, and Ribena, spliffs and punch. Met some people who were actually calling the alcohol/fags delivery people. you spend over £20 on crap and they bring it to you, anytime, anywhere. i didn't stick around to see what actually happens though. also was talked at by some artist on coke who had been locked in his house for the last year who kept telling me how artists where responsible for the holocaust... and stuff like that. The pouffy yellow dress look obviously suits me going by the attention, there was a FITTT bloke dressed as the monarch of the glen. Wow he was nice but I avoided him because I was drunk and didn’t want to flirt with him, because he was fit and not Tom. Carl and me got a cab home at about 5, and I had to get this wrecked 13 stone guy to get up off the floor and go to bed.
On Saturday some Armley girl tried to mug me, then I went into Leeds with Carl and met Tom, Stee, Rach and Paul. Went to Blue Rinse, came home. Took magic mushrooms with Carl, Tom and Paul. I got Futurama really confused with real life, then kept thinking about the same things as Paul, tried to play Halo whilst my arms where stretching and Game of Life was playing itself. Stee came over on Wednesday night and said that Tom wants to see me without Paul and told me to invite him to Gay Fawkes night, so I did.
What else has happened? I’ve been drinking blackcurrant and spicy apple drink this week, it’s dead nice and you can get it down the road for 69p a bottle… it’s squash that you drink hot. Craig was home for the week, and he came back but his Dad’s died and he’s now gone home until after Christmas, so the house is going to be worse now. I think the honeymoon, living with inbuilt friends thing is wearing off. I mean it's fun but it's nothing. I want to meet new people, I want to have something to do in my life… sort out my relationship(???) or whatever problems… get a job… do my two 750 word essays that are due in next week. Yeah and write to my mumma and I want a cig.
I’ve bought a fairy bell and shooting star photo frame… green bead neckless, 2 books and Diana Ross albumn.
Comments: 2 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Thursday, November 4th, 2004

Time:6:09 pm.
Comments: 14 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Friday, October 29th, 2004

Subject:by now you should've somehow realise what you're gonna do
Time:1:09 pm.
I am SO poor at the moment, my loan is fucked up. I’m not enrolled properly at Uni, I need to take in my GCSE and A Level certificates AND I don’t know where they are. I’m getting a new bankcard through the post, which I need as soon as possible but our post isn’t getting through. It’s really taking so much effort to get myself to uni, it’s two days a week… what the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been here 5 weeks and I don’t have a job yet, I’ve just been moping around. Plus on Tuesday I left my phone at evolution (nightclub) but I did get it back. Having friends working at clubs you go to is lethal, I had 3 ‘vodka’ and cokes and was completely fucked. I have 3 huge bruises on me legs, and the knowledge that I met atleast 2 boys there that I cant remember, and as the clubs 15 minutes walk away, and good, then I’m going to have to blag my way when people recognise me.

Phurrr. So I was at home at the Weekend, Mum's birthday and Gatherings at Amy's on Saturday and then Sunday. on Saturday it was Gutter Thoughts and on Sunday MARTTINNN came round and we made a joint out of envelope and then went to Amys with Ricky, Tom (a different one, blatently that lives in London), Beef and Thunderbolt John, WHO I HAVENT SEEN FOR AGES. On Monday, travelled home and went to Evolutions, Wednesday Carl brought Monopoly and we all spent hours playing it (well I spent less hours playing it, because I lost.) Wednesday I went to a party type thing at Stee’s and saw Tom for the first time in about 3 or 4 weeks. I was on the train eating half a sandwich (mank) and thinking I had a chance to get ready (get pissed) when Stee phoned me and told me Tom and Paul were meeting me at the Station and I’m like, ‘urrrr, that’s in 10 minutes and I’m ugly’. Stee made his house all dark and French. We watched this really crazy hypnosis, (you will die before you reach retirement age, you smell etc.) quit - smoking video and everyone in the room got the urge to spark up at the same time, even Nick and he doesn’t even smoke. Stee got really, really drunk and embarrassed me!!!! But he said I can embarrass him at Gay Folks Night, but I’m not gonna. I’m too precious.

So anyway, yesterday came home and Tom and Paul came and we took Magic Mushrooms. Oh, my, God. We only took three each this time but it was fucking insane. We decided to go for a walk to Quik Save about at our highest point, and people in Armley aren’t the most normal people at the best of times, I actually had to walk in the middle of the road to be able to walk past them at one point. Me and Tom were wearing no shoes and Paul kept saying ‘Jules I’m imagining you fat’ and ‘Tom your groin just keeps getting bigger, it’s scaring me’. Then I accidently spent all my money on drugs and confetti, rendering me even more poor. Tom and Paul were supposed to be going to Rock Night in drag but they didn’t, and Jon didn’t realise, and he even had a perm and make up. Hahahaha, well sort of hahaha although he will probably be annoyed. :S. I’m supposed to be going to Halloween night on Saturday but, once again, I have money … very little. I’m worried because I owe some to Owen when he gets back tomorrow, I have no idea when my bank cards going to get to my Mum… let alone here with our mail problem.
Well it was really crazy anyway. Tom said he is going to come round today, hopefully he will because I can’t afford to go out tonight and I still want things to work out with him. I like the fact that I do really like him, so I don’t want to give up.

Argh, yesterday Carl was attacking me and poked me in the belly button, so I screamed and turned over and crushed my hip bones on the floor. The only time being phat would help … when being attacked by housemates.
Comments: 1 paragraph captured here in my quotation marks.

Sunday, October 24th, 2004

Subject:you left your girlfriend on the platform, with this really ragged notion you'll return
Time:3:08 pm.
You say "the city" and expect everyone to know which one.

You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

You step over people who collapse on the tube.

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You've considered stabbing someone.

Your door has more than three locks.

Your favourite movie has Hugh Grant in it.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.

You know where Karl Marx is buried.

You consider Essex the "countryside"

You think Hyde Park is "nature."

You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain."

Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.

You've been to Tooting twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went camping as a kid.

You own hiking boots and a 4WD vehicle, neither of which have ever touched dirt.

You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did, it terrified you.

You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.

You actually take fashion seriously.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You haven't cooked a meal since helping mum last Christmas with the turkey.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

£50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don't hear sirens anymore.

You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.

You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.

Your cleaner is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favourite bartender is Irish, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch-seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsagent is Indian and your favourite falafel guy is Egyptian.

You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.

You say 'mate' constantly

Anyone not from London is a 'wanker'

Anyone from outside London and north of the Watford Gap is a 'Northern Wanker'

You have no idea where the North is.

You see All Saints in the Met Bar (again) and find it hard to get excited about it.

The countryside makes you nervous

Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker.

You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round SW1 the other day"

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from London.

& the edinborough one is funny, so...Collapse )
Comments: 7 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Thursday, October 21st, 2004

Subject:you stole the sun from my heart
Time:4:58 pm.
So yesterday I went to support my local team. Well... I went in to uni with Carl and watched my flatmates get thrashed at 7 a side football. Then we went down the Shovel for tea, mmm real food. I've recently adopted Amy's lime and soda water as my regular drink. (20p!!!how can you go wrong?)
I'm in Armley library with Richard, and after rizlagate (or the lack thereof) reappearing last night I must remember to pick up skins and baccy on the way home.
This Library charges 15p per b&w photocopy, oh my God. I'm getting a bit bored of being on the computer now. I actually way prefer social life. I'm going home for my Mum's birthday tomorrow. Tom said he will come to Armley but he doesnt know when, and the two things he's asked me to do are tonight and Saturday night so I cant go anyway.
I spent £60 on drugs last weekend, I accidently put £20 worth through the Laundry. It's not my fault, escapism comes in handy sometimes. So does listening to MSP and Weezer continiously, still.
Fuck I need to go out tonight. But tomorrow I have 9 - 4 then travelling to Nottingham and London. plus I told Tom I couldnt go to some club tonight, but some of my housemates are going to Bondi. But I need to be conserving money after last weekend.
oh yeah, and i'm going to see machine head on november 30th at leeds met civic center.
Comments: 2 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Tuesday, October 19th, 2004

Subject:the world has turned and left me here, back where i was before you appeared
Time:1:15 pm.
I dyed my hair pink. I have a lecture in 20 minutes. ... things with Tom are getting less clear, actually. On Wednesday he got drunk and had a fight with Paul blaming him for us breaking up. Then he told me he was going to come to see me (with Paul) on Saturday, but basically I dyed my hair pink and spent 3 hours tidying and decorating my room (I really wanted to impress him) but he didnt come. I actually got a phone call from Paul telling me that they couldnt come because his Dad wouldn't let him go to Armley. Then I got a message from Tom saying he'd text me the next day, and I figured that I know where to give up and whatever I was going to do was resplondent on that text... if he comes to see me or says that he will then I keep waiting if not then I dont. It was a 'dont' text, but I tried again and he hasnt replied. It's just really getting me down not knowing, because I dont want to give up on him, if he told me what he wanted I could deal with that normally rather than this. Continiously listening to Weezer and the Manic Street Preachers. I got an Email from Rachel saying that he wants to get back together, but Ive heard nothing from him, and I tried texting Steph but she kept on going on about how I was young free and single, which I guess is my answer, but I still want to hear it from him?. I really dont need all this at the beginning of Uni, not if it's all for no reason. I want things to work out properly without the shyness, because it's been like 3 months now and I wouldnt have bothered with any of this if I hadnt thought it'd be worth it. It would be easier to just leave it but I really like him, I dont want anyone else and I'm not bothered about relationships otherwise, but I'm a fresher, I havent made out with anyone since he broke up with me because I've been counting it as a break, and Goddamn I should be halfway through the student population of Leeds by now.
Ok, jokes.
Comments: 4 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Monday, October 11th, 2004

Subject:rip christopher reeve
Time:11:38 am.
superman died :(
Comments: 7 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Sunday, October 10th, 2004

Subject:You and me, you know that we were always funny in a car crash sort of way.
Time:4:54 pm.
o = yes
x = no
~ = Maybe, depends.

Would you ever..

() go out with me?
() give me your number?
() watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
() let me take you out to dinner?
() drive me somewhere/anywhere?
() take a shower with me?
() be my gf/bf?
() have a fling with me?
() listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
() buy me a drink if i didnt have money?
() cuddle for a while when i feel cuddly?
() take me home for the night?
() let me sleep in your bed?
() sing car karaoke with me?
() sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
() have sex with me?
() let me kiss you?
() share a milkshake?
() put up with my unexpected thoughts?
() re-post this for me to answer your questions?
() let me give you a piggyback ride?
() let me handcuff you?
() come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
Comments: 10 paragraphs captured here in my quotation marks.

Subject:honey, it's been a long time coming. and i cant stop now
Time:5:16 am.
well i'm back in london and here is my update for the past week and a half. classes have been cool, i've met a few girls on my course but most of the people i know are the people that i live withm which is cool because they're obviously near and there are about 22 people that actually hang out. anyway, on wednesday tom broke up with me. or like.. we are on a break? or whatever. i'm really confused. but i know the way i was acting around him (very shy) was the problem, and i think that if he does actually want to get back together then we are actually going to at one point have to be on our own and not fucking stoned.
my uncle frank's brain tumour killed him aswell on wednesday :( his funeral was on tuesday and i went down to sherborne with my cousin louisa (she lives in nottingham) and it was cool talking to her because i'm only really getting to know my cousins again now, and i also got to see her gorgeous sons james and harry they're so adorable. the funeral was really so sad, especcially seeing joey so upset and hearing the poem clare wrote for her dad. it was hard seeing my mum and brother and sisters aswell and not being able to go home.
last weekend seven of my friends from london came to visit me in leeds which was nice :) they chonged out my room though and set off the fire alarms. we also went out for a cheap pub dinner at our local - the malt shovel hahaha. after they all passed out in the 2nd living room i went and watched tv with my flatmates.
it was my neighbour dan's 20th on thursday aswell, so on wednesday night we went to a posh bar called the courtyard and richard and phil got me drinks, then left and got free tickets to creations and went there for a few cheap drinks, and then we went to bondhi beach which has a revolving dancefloor, carl accidently jumped into the foamy fountain. in bondhi beach owen kept telling me that a guy was watching me and giving owen dirty looks, and he was really good looking (nowhere as nice as tom though) and it would have been nice to just flirt with someone i didnt know for a bit! but richard came over and wrapped his arms around me and kept asking me for a drink and scared the green tshirted man away. anyway me and owen left later and got stoned back at the manor. oooops.
on thursday i was sO ill, i've been ill all week and i've been really busy which hasnt helped. i was sitting half dead in the living room, everyone else was out or going out, or locked in their rooms and i was going to sleep infront of the tv. but carl firemans lifted me out and sean got me a drink. and i didnt die, and we played the pub quiz game... and i found a juke box so it was ok then. on friday i went into uni with vici, couldnt find my last class and so left at 2, saw carl and so went home with him and danny. pratted about for a while, me and richard cleaned the kitchen because we are so efficient and good. drew on richard and rob. got taxi, came to london. long long journey with nothing to do on megabus. came home with mummy and sisters. amy came over.
today i went to eltham and camden with my sister and got her a classy mister wimpy meal for her birthday. i got some funky laces that are black with red stars and white skulls for my converse (the trainers not the hightops, i'm so cool) four pairs of earrings (big colourful hoops, little palm trees, sunglasses & flip flops) i also got four albumns (american hifi, toploader, better tham ezra & moby) then i came home, dressed up in my brilliant disguise of black 50s skirt, rose top, cardigan, choker, fishnets and trainers and went to ben and robs (obviously) early halloween party - suprisingly i didnt win, other ben did - he's an actor, you know the lynx advert with the man being chased by mermaids? - that was him. woow.
it was a cool party, me and martin got in trouble with some girl for 'promoting gun violence' (martin was a cowboy). tarzan asked me what my man story was or something so i told her about tom (kind of) and her and 2 other women kept telling me what to do. they were being really nice but kind of he doesnt deserve you kind of thing but this isnt him hes not an arsehole i just really screwed the relationship up by being so self concious all the time - which hopefully was just because i was adjusting to leeds and stuff. the weekend at jons, instead of making us closer just showed how we werent moving along at all. i just dont think that its time and chilling out that we need because we did loads of that, if he wants to sort it out or to decide what to do, we need to talk because i dont want to go there without knowing what's going on. i just wish everything was easy and straight forward and i didnt get shy at such random and dumb occasions. i still really like him and he said that he still fancied me so it should be easy. if only he'd said that in real life instead of by text, and when we were going out rather than just after we'd *gone on a break*. and i keep dreaming about him, almost every night. anyway i met this girl kim at the party who is 23 at the party and she was so lovely.
it's weird because i decided to move there because of a group of people i met, and now i'm here i've hardly seen them and now i don't really know if i will, but i've met all these new people and done all this stuff that otherwise i wouldnt have had the chance to do, and i havent got a clue what i'd have been doing if i hadn't gone to uni.
my male flatmates are apparently disgusted by the jojo video because they fancy her and she's thirteen. gross, i like the song though. also craig told me the rudest joke.
how can you tell if your sisters started her period? taste the blood on your dads cock. not even amy laughed. but i did and so did vici and owen. maybe it was just craigs nottingham accent.
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